Woah. Where has the time gone? December lasted approximately 2.5 seconds and despite the cheeky trip abroad (I’ll catch you up on that later this week), I don’t have much of an excuse as to why I haven’t been on here.
I’ll start by saying that 2020 ended on a high (all things considering). Life in 2020 has felt incredibly shit (for lack of a better word), but I spent the Christmas break really reflecting on my year – the things that I had achieved, the trips that we did manage to take, the time I gained being at home. and actually, there was a lot of it. All of the good stuff seemed to have fallen down the cracks, pushed aside by the craziness that was last year – the lockdowns, the uncertainty, the overwhelming amount of noise that seemed to be everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, some really crappy things did happen (in my world and everyone else’s) but I feel sad that we’ll always remember 2020 as the shit year, when really, some good did come of it, it was all just different, that’s all.
I have loved having a slower Christmas. I spent the week reading, sleeping, watching back to back TV, cleaning, planning home improvements, eating copious amounts of brie and chain drinking Baileys and Prosecco (not together, don’t worry). I know that Christmas was different for a lot of people this year and I’m grateful to be as happy at home as I am. That being said, I am desperate for some normality.
Every January, I start the year by setting goals. I’ve seen so much online about making up for lost time, making 2021 the year you achieve everything you said you would last year, but I can’t help but feel a tiny bit uninspired. I returned to work today, but instead of the early commute in the dark, which would usually be a shock to the system after a long break, I returned back to the grind in my home office, the same place I have been for the past nine months. I never thought I would miss it (I do love being home), but I am craving people, craving enthusiasm and motivation to want to work, to collaborate. I am craving a meeting or a conversation that isn’t done on bloody Zoom. I am craving the feeling of getting home after a long day, getting changed, making dinner, getting cosy. I spend every day behind the same four walls and to be honest with you, I’m going a bit mad.
I have a few things that I want to achieve, (the first of which has already been a failure 4 days in) but this year I am going to keep them to myself, at least for now. Without sounding doom and gloom, I can’t face the disappointment of 2021 and don’t want the added pressure of feeling like I should be achieving something.
I need this year. I think we all do. But I also really want to make the most of it, whatever it is. No goals, no unrealistic resolutions – just live and do my best at that. I don’t want to get lost in all of the negativity so much so, that I forget the good stuff.
This is a new start, even if it doesn’t feel like much of one right now and although we don’t have to make goals this year, it’s nice to have something to hold on to. With this in mind, think about one thing you want in 2021. I’ll try and do the same. Think about it really hard and if you fancy, maybe do one or two things about it. No rush. It can be as mental or as realistic as you want. No pressure, just an idea, something to keep you going.
What did you go for?
Happy New Year! (and I really mean that)
I have a really busy few months of uni coming up and I am up to my eyeballs in work but I really hope to share a few more things with you soon.