Aside from University, which was on a completely different spectrum of drama and mess, I have never lived with a boy.
And despite us being together 4 years this year, moving in with Charlie was a massive step for us. Unlike a lot of my friends, we kept our date nights to maybe 3 nights a week tops, we’ve never been constantly in each other’s pockets and it worked that way. We hadn’t actually imagined that moving in together would on the cards for us this year, despite me saying ‘we’ll do it this year’ every year. We wanted to save a bit, get ourselves sorted, hunt for a pay rise and move into somewhere swanky and new but when the opportunity came up to move in to my friend’s old flat for basically pennies, we pretty much jumped at the chance.
We’ve been in the flat close to 3 months now – we’ve had to do a crazy amount of decorating, buy an entire flat’s worth of furniture and kitchenware, we’ve had to change our commutes to work, learn when the bins are collected, work out who is better at washing up (me btw), get used to each other’s routines and of course, spend every day together, which at first, after spending only a few days a week together, was the scariest bit.
I’ll start by saying (and he’ll probably read this so don’t wanna get too smushy) but the past 3 months have been the best for us. I am the happiest I have ever been, I am comfortable, feel at home and I couldn’t imagine ever living apart again (or wouldn’t want to at least) – I’m cute, I know.
Things I’ve learned living with a boy
You become more connected – We’ve obviously always been a bit in tune otherwise we wouldn’t have made it this far but living together means you do have to talk a lot. You have to talk about your plans, talk about what you fancy for dinner (fav convo of the day), talk about the boring stuff, talk about money A LOT and these are all things we had kept pretty separate before living together. Now, we kinda have to talk about it and actually, it has made me more aware about what we can spend and allows us to plan the future a little bit more.
They literally do not care about the things we do – I have always been an obsessive cleaner, I enjoy living in a clean and tidy space and get a kick out of whacking out the Zflora or Method spray and having a clean. Charlie, although I’m sure he’d admit that he prefers to live in a clean house, would not care if I didn’t. I am a compulsive washing upper and once dinner’s finished, need to get the kitchen tidy before I can chill, I bleach the toilet every day, I keep on top of the washing and I’ll tidy up anything that isn’t in its right place. Charlie does help and we’ve pretty much got the cook/clean routine nailed but god, I’m sure he wouldn’t bother if I didn’t care (or tell him what to do). I definitely hold the fort and for now, I’m alright with that (as long as he keeps making the bed in the morning because it melts my heart).
He doesn’t eat veg – I knew this about Charlie before we moved in but I had no idea how many veggie based meals I would want that Charlie wouldn’t dare go near with a barge pole. One of the most frustrating things about dinner time is the refusal to put any veg on his plate – genuinely, we argued once because he didn’t want peas with his gammon and chips…. They aint gonna kill ya mate! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t LOVE veg but I’ll try to make sure we get as much variety as possible. My dream would be able to eat veggie lasagna, stuffed mushrooms or peppers, roasted veggies – the lot, but nah, the battle still continues.
Sometimes you do just sit and watch the TV – One of the biggest things I wanted us to avoid was becoming glued to the TV and it becoming a bad habit. We both love watching TV/Netflix and with Love Island currently taking over our lives we haven’t made room for too much else but when we first moved in, I made sure we spent some of the evening off our phones, with a glass of wine, playing a board game (or sometimes decorating or building something) and it honestly makes such a difference. We even stopped to play Yahtzee in the day once which was massive game changer. It’s not always realistic though, sometimes you are that knackered that you come home from work, mindlessly watch The Big Bang Theory whilst you’re on the phone and barely talk to each other and some day’s that’s alllll I wanna do but it’s really important to me that we don’t do always do that. I want us to make the most of our garden, find new hobbies, play more games and actually be together.
You will bicker – Charlie and I never argue, we’ve always both been pretty chilled out and if something is up, we’ll say how we feel and we pretty much leave it there. Living together obviously means we are together all the time, so we’re around each other when we’re moody, tired, hungover, PMSing so it would have been bloody impressive if we/I never moaned at all. We have found that the best way to settle a bicker is to play a game of odds. Making the night time cuppa tea is a big’un, I’m done with the day then. I haven’t stopped and not getting up for nobody. The only possible way to settle who makes it is a game of odds (basically one person says a number, you count down from 3 and both say a number within that range at the same time and if you say the same number, the person that set the range, loses) and sometimes I’ll lose. But when I don’t, god it feels good.
Failing that rock paper scissors is the answer to all other problems.
I’m so excited for the rest of the year, excited to host our first house warming, excited to fill the house with nice homely things now that we’ve finally finished decorating (the bedroom is done – yay!) I’m excited to get cosy at Christmas (not so excited for the cold) Moving out has been the best decision and despite rarely having a pot to piss in, I don’t regret a thing. Things will get better (fingers crossed) and I’m buzzing for it.