Right. It’s half way through February. I’m either desperately trying to find the days in a panic that I’m wasting 2018 or stalking my iPhone calendar to count how many days I have to get through until a bank holiday.
I’m writing this at 9:34pm and I’ll be honest with ya, I’ve spent 10 hours today with little break glued to my computer. I’m done for the day, wet hair, desperate for a night time cuppa and too lazy to move but I promised myself that I’d sort my life out and sign in, write something that even if it’s a pile of poo, I’ll feel better for anyway because at least I posted summmin.
All I keep thinking about is the Cart D’or 5000 calorie vanilla ice cream I have in my freezer but I’m trying so hard to be good and wondering if it’s worth it. I’ve lost 8 pounds in the last month and although I can’t quite see the difference, it does motivate me to stop being a fat shit and think about what I’m eating. Monday-Friday at least.
But myyyy god would I die for a whole bar of Galaxy or a banoffee pie.
I’ve actually got a really exciting week ahead and instead of being stressed with work and dreaming of work and dreading my morning alarm, I’m actually excited to get past these next 2 days (and they are great days in all fairness; hellooo pancakes and friend dates and valentines cuteness) but then me and Charlie are off on date night on Thursday to see Khalid and then we’re both off work to do whaeveeer we fancy and it’s going to feel bloody good. Well, Friday I’m pretty sure I’ll be dying from a red wine hangover but a hangover in bed with Domino’s is better than clients that call me every hour just in case I didn’t see their email.
I saw it okay and I chose to ignore it #CANTHEYNOT
Nonetheless, I have been better. I’ve been better at exercise (ish) and forcing myself to make the time to do something. Even if it’s taking the stairs. I’ve been better at trying new things like ‘clubbercise’ and tea without sugar. I’ve been better at telling myself it’s only a job; with the exception of today because Monday’s are the devil, I’ve been doing what I can manage and being okay with that. I’ve been better at making the most of my evenings, even if it is staying up later to do my washing or write an awful blog post. I’ve been better at making time for my favourite people, even with pennies to my name. I’ve been better and deciding who I need in my life and who I don’t. I’ve been better at trying to see every side to the story and making my own mind up. I’ve been better in 2018 so far and even though it’s not going to plan in the slightest, I’ve been better.
Anyway, I won’t ramble much longer because I’m typing in the dark and I’m not sure I’m actually saying anything of value but sometimes this is good. Let it all out so that I feel inspired enough to write some decent content. And I say decent loosely, don’t worry.
I’ll be seeing you next Monday when I hope that I can catch you up on this beaut week. I’m just excited for some decent time with Charlie when we’re not both dead from work, moody with a hangover or glued to Netflix. I’m excited for good food, good music. Some family time and a catch up with my best friends and more importantly, free from project talk for 4 whole days. Bloody hell, I need it. How is it only Monday please?