*And accept that we already are.
I’ve been reading a book called ‘Get Your Shit Together’ and to be honest, I’ve been trying to do precisely that. But in trying to be this super productive, active, sociable diva as well as keep everything okay at home, I hadn’t quite realised how secretly stressed I had been getting until someone asked if I was okay at work and I just burst into tears (which is always fab in front of everyone you work with).
We had a little chat about everything that had been getting me down but truthfully, I still haven’t got a clear idea. The next day I sat with my line manager and embarrassingly cried again. Immediately I felt like I had less on my shoulder. We went to the pub at lunch and even though I knew I had loads to do, I decided to ditch the desk and join everyone. I took 2 hours out and had a cider in the sun and I stopped looking at my Skype’s and my phone and managed to breathe for the first time that week. It was Friday.
In the book I’ve been reading I came across a good tip and in recent posts I’ve preached about taking on manageable chunks. I’m a to-do list advocate but a part of me developed some sort of deadline anxiety. I let everything still left on the list by the end of the day eat me up into my evening, sleep on it and then come to work the next day already anxious that I’m behind. Simple fix – stop putting so much on the list. Prioritise what has to happen, move everything else over to the next day and basically repeat.
We are not machines.
Some days, maybe we do just want to sit in our PJ’s with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, watching Gilmore girls and ignore the group chat. That’s okay hunnnny.
Maybe we don’t have to be so bloody perfect at work 24/7; we can only do what we can manage and if some days that means hiding in the toilet for 10 minutes with our eyes closed or sneakily write a blog in our emails so it looks like we’re working (you’re welcome for that tip) then you bloody do that. And actually, maybe it is okay to speak to your manager and say, listen mate, I’m tired, my workload is mental and I don’t get paid enough for this shit.
Or at least, have that convo in a way that’s not going to get you fired (see cry method above ^)
Jokes aside, I think we all put so much pressure on ourselves to do more, be more, when really, if it’s not actually making us happy and we’re taking on so much that we’re not giving ourselves time to wind down, we need to reevaluate what’s important and what isn’t and make a conscious decision to make a change and in small chunks.
Other things to do when it all gets too much –
Go have a cup of tea – Genuinely, I know it sounds like a joke but take a moment, if it’s at work or mid-spring clean at home to have a cuppa. Calm down, breath, enjoy a few minutes to yourself. Chuck in some biscuits. Go mental.
Make a list – Oh hooorah for a list. They can be the devil when you feel like you have too much to do but it might be worth writing down everything you think you should be doing and then cross out the things that can wait. Manageable chunks, see – genius.
Have a cuddle – Having a cuddle and a cry with someone you love is honestly the best cure. Don’t be afraid that in crying, you’ve lost. Get it all out.
Watch an episode of Friends – Dunno about you but I’ve never felt sad watching an episode of friends. Except maybe the last episode or when Rachel moved out. But you get my jist.
Have a girly date – If you’re working too much or everything at home feels shit, get out in doses that work for you. Meet up with the girls for a Chinese and some reality tv, go for dinner or lunch or go drink numerous porn-star martinis (whatever floats your boat) and chat all your problems away, have a laugh and remember that friends and family are lifeeee.
Do nothing – Might feel like you’re just letting time slip but darlinnnn, get yourself in the right head-space. Have a lie down at home and do absolutely nothing, take yourself away from your desk for a timeout in a quiet area, accept that sometimes you do need to be blissfully ignorant of your to-do list to be in with a chance of tackling any of it properly.
A week later since having a bit of a cry, I do feel like I’m getting there, despite new things at home getting on top of me this past weekend, I know now that it’s all made a little better with the right attitude. I’m always going to feel like I’m not doing enough or feel a little lost if I hand over and delegate something to someone else but we all need to get better at reminding ourselves that we’re fab and the world isn’t going to end if we’re genuinely too tired for the gym or we don’t tackle every email by 5pm. Do you and do the best you can.
That’s more than enough babes.