I’m not a fan of Mondays but I am excited that January was 6 long days ago and I can finally attempt to take on 2017 the way I had intended to.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s tough. I booked the day off work today after a weekend with my dad by the seaside and although I had planned to have a super productive feel good day, I can’t help but spend 90% of it, in bed binge watching tv, thinking about junk food and mentally spending the little wages I have left.
I keep writing posts, leave them sitting in my drafts and can’t bloody put my finger on why. The only words I manage to post lately are the posts where I blurt out my life story and make no real sense – the dumps, I call them.
The dumps were a diary I used to keep during uni which basically gave me a place to write a load of b.s about boys and plans and dreams and family and once I graduated, I decided I was too old to write in the dumps. I had to get my shit together.
But actually, a few years since I opened the document where years of secrets lie, I find myself on here, only able to post b.s dumps. I think my brain is having trouble processing what it wants to say when I have so much unnessessary clutter hanging around. I’m still stuck in my rutt and I think that maybe, getting back into the dumps could help me.
So, as a brand new month is upon us and I LOVE everything about February, I’ma dump it all on here and hopefully, I can share something a little more useful soon.
1. I cried last week because I was tired. Like, full on tears because my boss asked me to hold a meeting and I was too tired to chair it. Can we just take a minute to appreciate how ridiculous I am.
2. I don’t want to drink alcohol ever again but so much of my social life depends on it and I do enjoy it and that makes me sad.
3. I need to move out of my house for my own sanity but there’s not enough money in the world to get me out, keep me happy and help everybody else.
4. I have no idea how to get motivated to exercise, like actually the thought of doing a home workout right now, makes me want to vom but I cry when I can’t fit into a size 8 so that’s not ideal.
5. I constantly want to be on holiday.
6. I’m always anxious about time. Not having enough, it not going fast enough, not spending it wisely, time being wasted, time running out. Can someone else tell me this is normal plz?!
7. I think about milkshakes probably the same amount as men apparently think about sex.
8. I get myself so wound up about how different everything was this time a year ago.
9. If I ever have to talk about why I’m not allowed candles or real gravy in the house one more time, I think I might scream.
10. It’s dark and cold out and I’m pretty sure it should be summer now, sureeeely.
I hope you haven’t found this too much of a downer post, it’s Monday and I needed a moan but I’m actually super excited about the next few months and what I have planned.
The dumps do help by the way. Until next time.
ps. Here’s a photo of my feet one evening in Croatia because it’s my happy place and I’m a donut and left taking blog photos until it was pitch black.